Big.Fat.Negative. BFN. Negative. Opposite of positive.
That's it folks, this cycle didn't work. I was really hoping to be one of those couples that pregnant on the first try. But I guess I don't deserve that happiness or something.
My husband must be okay with it because when I told him this morning, he didn't say a word. Nothing. Silence. As if I hadn't said anything at all. Whatever.
I just don't want to deal with people today. I didn't tell ANYONE about my negative on Sunday. I didn't want to hear their sentiments. I didn't want the disappointment to be real. I guess there is no avoiding it today.
I just don't want to hear another "Oh, I'm sorry that you feel sad. Why aren't you just happy that you already have a child? Most people in your situation don't have that." This coming from a good friend that I work with. I understand that she was trying to be supportive, but may I suggest she quit it?
You have no idea how it feels, people, to want to experience the joys of pregnancy, childbirth, and raising a child with someone you love. When I got pregnant with my son at 19, I had to hide from the father for fear he would murder me. I had to do it alone (although my mom was very supportive). I didn't have someone that was all excited and rubbing my belly and putting their mouth up to my tummy to talk to our child. I didn't have someone that could help at night with a feeding so I could sleep. I didn't have someone that could play the bad guy every now and then when my son did wrong. I didn't have that extra person to help bring in extra money.
Yes, it was my choice to have my son on my own. One that I will never regret. But one I learned from. I learned that I wanted those things. And because I learned those things, I learned that I had to wait to have more children until I found someone that could give me those things and love. And I waited. And when he finally came along when my son was 6, neither of us were ready for marriage and a baby and it took us a few years. So now I am feeling the crunch.
I never wanted to be an only child. I have felt so bad over the past few years that my son doesn't have a sibling. It was the one thing I had promised myself from the time I was a little girl, that my children would never be that lonely. A parent can only fill that void so much. My son desperately wants a brother, but he'll take a sister if he has to.
I don't want to keep on whining about it anymore. Time to move on and start the next cycle. Hey! The good news is that I can stop the progesterone suppositories.
This sucks.
That's it folks, this cycle didn't work. I was really hoping to be one of those couples that pregnant on the first try. But I guess I don't deserve that happiness or something.
My husband must be okay with it because when I told him this morning, he didn't say a word. Nothing. Silence. As if I hadn't said anything at all. Whatever.
I just don't want to deal with people today. I didn't tell ANYONE about my negative on Sunday. I didn't want to hear their sentiments. I didn't want the disappointment to be real. I guess there is no avoiding it today.
I just don't want to hear another "Oh, I'm sorry that you feel sad. Why aren't you just happy that you already have a child? Most people in your situation don't have that." This coming from a good friend that I work with. I understand that she was trying to be supportive, but may I suggest she quit it?
You have no idea how it feels, people, to want to experience the joys of pregnancy, childbirth, and raising a child with someone you love. When I got pregnant with my son at 19, I had to hide from the father for fear he would murder me. I had to do it alone (although my mom was very supportive). I didn't have someone that was all excited and rubbing my belly and putting their mouth up to my tummy to talk to our child. I didn't have someone that could help at night with a feeding so I could sleep. I didn't have someone that could play the bad guy every now and then when my son did wrong. I didn't have that extra person to help bring in extra money.
Yes, it was my choice to have my son on my own. One that I will never regret. But one I learned from. I learned that I wanted those things. And because I learned those things, I learned that I had to wait to have more children until I found someone that could give me those things and love. And I waited. And when he finally came along when my son was 6, neither of us were ready for marriage and a baby and it took us a few years. So now I am feeling the crunch.
I never wanted to be an only child. I have felt so bad over the past few years that my son doesn't have a sibling. It was the one thing I had promised myself from the time I was a little girl, that my children would never be that lonely. A parent can only fill that void so much. My son desperately wants a brother, but he'll take a sister if he has to.
I don't want to keep on whining about it anymore. Time to move on and start the next cycle. Hey! The good news is that I can stop the progesterone suppositories.
This sucks.
